ghatz1
Dear Mr. MR.
I am saddened by the loss of your son Feng. He passed away on February 13th, 2024. The tardiness of this letter may come as a surprise, but I assure you that his estate is in good hands. His untimely demise is proof of how short and fleeting life really is. I was fortunate to get to know Feng before his presence escaped this Earth. Feng was a misunderstood and troubled person. The neglect from his alcoholic father and abandonment from his anxiety-riddled mother shaped Feng's inner world and corrupted his sense of self. Feng's loss of inner self left a dark void. A void he longed to fill, but was never capable. The shock and fear of this void of nothing overwhelmed Feng. It overwhelmed him to the point that he found comfort in the very thing that he was running from, the imprisonment by his father. This enmeshment happened unwillingly and unnoticed as Feng reached for a sense of belonging, a sense of freedom, a sense of self.
Feng didn't create or test boundaries. Feng didn't fight back or stand up for himself. Feng didn't appreciate himself or what others did for him. Feng accepted his purpose in life, which was to live for others. Feng wanted to be perfect for everyone in his life at the expense of himself. This was important to him, but he never really knew why. He couldn't understand his fears, anxiety, or stress. Feng was left with the impossible task of filling his void. Unable to do so, he relied on parents, friends, and partners to take over this tumultuous task. Feng didn't feel anything. Feng didn't dream. Feng didn't live; he survived. It wasn't until right before his death that he finally realized that he let other people define his value, define his suffering, define himself, and ultimately define his life.
Feng's aforementioned estate has been inherited by Castle. Castle is confident. Castle is charismatic. Castle is outgoing. Castle is funny. I know these things to be true. Castle doesn't set conditions for happiness. Castle doesn't self-sabotage. Castle doesn't reject love. Castle has a sense of self. I know these things to be true. I know these things to be true, because knowing oneself is absolution. Stress is replaced with a crisp and light breeze. Uncertainty is met with curiosity instead of anxiety. Fear exists as an opportunity instead of a handicap. Nothingness of everyday life feels like second-to-second bursts of electricity. Absolution comes from knowing yourself, knowing your true self. Castle has found his true sense of self.
This news may sadden your heart, but I ask you not to grieve. Instead, I ask you to be curious. I ask you to learn. I ask you to truly live. I also challenge you to find your true sense of self. I challenge you to be a better father to Earl than you were to your children. I challenge you to be a better husband than you were to your first wife. I challenge you to grow beyond the frame you built around yourself. I challenge you to take action, be the man that resonates inside you. I challenge you to define yourself and your existence.
Cheers,
- ghatz1
